Relationships based on unconditional love
Photography: Darshana Borges, Journey of Love 2019
I believe in unconditional love.
Yes, in fact I know it exists. I have experienced it many times and to be honest I am an expert in creating space for unconditional love.
To understand the concept of unconditional love, we need to distinguish what love is, and there are many interpretations on love. To me love is a pure energy that brings separation into oneness.
Imagine two individuals that initially feel as if they are two units until love happens. Love draws them toward each other and eventually they feel as if they are melting as one.
Love happens when your awareness meets the creation in the present moment, here and now.
When love is conditioned however, your awareness meets a metaphoric image of what you are programmed to like and adore, or when you meet a promise of something that may be better in the future. Conditioned love comes with a setup of expectations, and this love is vulnerable to the flow and freedom of life.
Conditioned love is the cause of jealousy, comparison, fear of abandonment, codependency and drama. It comes from a place of lack and a neediness. When you want your self, your partner or life to change in order to be good enough, love is conditioned. When you hide your true emotions or try to adapt to other people's expectations, love can never reach you.
Unconditional love is divine, it's the source of existence and it is deeply healing. It accepts all flaws and faults. It accepts uniqueness, will and personality. Unconditional love is free and it is not bound to performances, actions or choices in life.
Unconditional love is not a relationship. A relationship is conditions and boundaries that we set up to reach a common goal. It is agreements that will make you safe enough to predict a future and to adapt to the roles that are agreed upon. We humans need rules, roles and expectations to relate to each other. As soon as we enter a relationship with another human, love is conditioned.
“I will stay with you as long as you only love me”.
Or, “I will love you as long as you do what you are told”.
For many, love is a trade and a reward and life is a constant hunt where achievements, performance and surface is more important than being here and now. Many people struggle with anxiety and a desperate search for a love that never touches more than the surface and we stay in relationships where the roles and agreements do not fit us because this is the only love we know.
I believe that it is possible to build a relationship based on unconditional love.
When we cultivate our selves to be aware and accepting here and now, we have a foundation for unconditional love. Maybe then you will experience the Source or oneness with another person or with life.
Those experiences are strong and nourishing and I believe it is possible to build a relationship based on unconditional love. This relationship is flexible enough to change the roles and the agreements as life moves on. A person who loves unconditionally has a foundation of deep self love and has the ability to accept the waves of emotions and fluctuations of life without rejecting it. A person who loves unconditionally can let go of ownership and control and let the relationship be open and allowing. When unconditional love is the foundation for the relationship, there is space for each individual to be, feel and choose their own truth and the relationship WILL be remodeled through time.
A relationship that is based on unconditional love is the best spiritual practice. It will trigger the ego who wants to protect you from pain and it will eventually make the ego soft as wax. Unconditional love comes with no pain, it comes with no suffering. It comes with the freedom to be truly you and loved for who you are no matter what you choose.
Unconditional love is eternal because it allows the space. It doesn't require any promises or any shackles. It is fee, and the more you love, the more it grows.